“I just ran a 5k!” but last year I was training for a half marathon.

“I look so good in these jeans!” but 5 years ago I was a size 4…like that will ever happen again.

“I just had my best month of the year in my business!” but 8 years ago I tripled that.

You have probably heard it said that you are your own worst enemy. Maybe you thought people were referring to bad habits like drinking or smoking or speaking your mind when it’s probably best to bite your tongue. More often than not, it’s our thoughts that make us our greatest enemy. 

This picture is so last year. It’s what spurred this blog post idea. I finished a (slow) 5k that I was initially proud of, and then the thought popped into my head, Yeah but last year you were half marathon fit.

You’ve heard about comparing, right? Comparison is the death of dreams. When you compare yourselves to others you’re comparing your worst to their best. The rise of social media has taught us all about comparison. 

But, did you ever think about the danger of comparing yourself to yourself? 

You can’t complete a goal or mark progress without comparing your current self to your past self or hopes for your future self. Comparing current to past is imperative as far as I can tell if you want to achieve goals and mark progress.

So how do we handle this? How can we mark progress (or lack of) on a goal without becoming our worst enemy of negativity? It’s easy when we’re doing well and advancing with our goal, but what about when we’re falling short?

And whether you care about a goal or not, how do we not fall into the pit of comparison of our younger self to now? 

Grace for yourself

This is my answer for almost everything. Let me be clear. If you ask for it, Jesus forgives you and gives grace for all your mistakes. Now give yourself grace.

Think about this: If someone talked to you the same way you talked to yourself, would you be friends with them? If not, I would venture to say you are not giving yourself grace. Would your best friend praise your forward progress and/or effort towards progress, or would he/she tell you something like, “that’s good but when we met you were _____ (skinnier, doing better in your business, you fill in this blank)”

Grace for your journey

I am ALL about self improvement. But I also have learned to have grace for the journey. You didn’t hit your goal for 2020? It’s ok. I think every member of humanity struggled to get out of bed for at least a few days of 2020. You were further ahead 5 years ago than you are now? Well look at your life now. Is life more complex? Have you added kids? Did you move? What else has changed?

“But so and so had kids and she’s skinnier than when she got pregnant and has tripled her income.” Good for her! That’s her journey. Who is to say if that’s yours or mine? We all have different journeys, obstacles, and mental and physical challenges. Beating yourself up over what you haven’t done won’t help you get further.

Lean into Truth

When I feel like I’m floundering in life, I seek truth. As a Christian, my truths come from the promises and encouragement from God’s word. Here are a few of my go-to verses:

• Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

• And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
• Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
• “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3 
• “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10  

Phone a Friend

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between having grace for yourself and making excuses. Sometimes it’s obvious. Maybe you’ve had kids and your body changed, so you can release that burden of expecting to be a size 2. (We’ll put that under possible, not probable). And there are less obvious cases. Should you expect to hit your fitness or business goals when your kids are suddenly doing school from the house with no end in sight?

This is when I recommend phoning a friend. There’s 2 kinds of calls. The first option, and the one I most recommend, is hitting your knees and praying. When I seek clarity from God, he nearly always gives it- even for the little things. 

The second call is a friend or family member who cares about you, you would trade places with (I don’t recommend taking advice from people you wouldn’t trade places with), and is also level headed. Sometimes our friends can see things clearly from their outside perspective that we are blinded to. How often do we let our kids be an excuse for not getting things done? For me, a lot. Is it a valid excuse or a valid obstacle/issue? Sometimes I have to reach out to friends to help me clarify this.

Throw it off and let it go

One of my favorite Bible verses comes from Hebrews 12: 

Ready for a fresh goal?

Check out my blogpost on the power of goals here

Thanks for reading! I’m excited to announce my first book will be coming to Amazon soon! For updates on the coming book, tune into my podcast LiveRideLearn on all your favorite podcast platforms and subscribe to the email list.

~Sarah