Riding Lessons, Life Lessons
Can things like riding horses teach us valuable life lessons? I vote, yes.
Some days are better than others in the saddle. One of the challenges of the sport is not only are you working on yourself, but you are simultaneously attempting to communicate with a partner who can’t speak English and has a mind of his own. I’d love to say, “Hey Silas relax!” And then he chills. Do you ever feel like telling life to take a chill pill?
With the pandemic and the holidays upon us, I’d like to use the words from T. Swift, “You need to calm down.” If only.
The life lesson of the day was wrapped in a seemingly plain package. It was an hour of paid instruction from my trainer. Forget jumping big jumps, maneuvering impressive obstacles or even going fast. We were simply working on me convincing my young ex-racehorse to jog calmly around the arena. No easy task. Simultaneously my trainer said I leaned too far forward and needed to shift my weight back.
The result: We careened around the arena as I flopped all over his back. I was frustrated to the point of an angry tirade or melting with tears. It felt eerily similar to figuring out working from home with a kindergartner and third grader doing distance learning. This isn’t what it’s supposed to feel like cycled through my brain on repeat.
Adding to the drama, one corner of the ring had deep sand that pulled on my horse’s feet. It felt like we were getting sucked into the underworld, as he spastically trotted through it. We needed to avoid that corner at all costs.
Around and around and around we went. The trainer yelled. I attempted to follow her advice. “Slow your post down!” “Sit back!” “Sloooooow your post down!” “You’re tipping forward”
Posting is when you stand and sit with the horse’s motion to keep from bouncing on his back. The idea behind “slowing your post down” is when you slow down your motion, the horse will slow down his. It’s pretty similar to when other people’s energy matches yours (blog post on this coming soon).
As I attempted to sit back instead of leaning forward, I flopped more than posted on the poor horse. This only seemed to spur him forward. We zoomed around like MarioKart. In frustration, everything became a blur. Silas also seemed determined to trot in the “quicksand”, so each time around I tugged at the reins trying to steer him away while muttering profanities under my breath.
Why was he so freakin’ determined to speed demon around the arena and drag us into the deeps? You might could compare this moment to the feeling of careening towards the holidays with escalating Covid numbers.
Are you riding or driving?
This went on for much of the lesson. Talk about hamster on a wheel, definition of insanity, and all that mess. Angry and at my wit’s end, I decided to actually look where I was going. Literally. What a novel idea! Ok I know you may be confused. How could someone ride for 45 minutes and not look where they were going?
There is a difference in being a passenger along for the ride, victim to where your horse (or life) takes you, and actually looking up and moving forward in expectation and positive energy.
Are you riding or driving?
I began to look ahead, pick a spot on the fence, and ride towards it. As we got close to the chosen spot, I would turn my head and aim towards the next spot. Miraculously when I gave Silas clear instruction of what to do (instead of being a victim and begging him not to do something) he stopped veering into the quicksand. Hm, maybe I have something going here. In life, this could be compared to having small daily goals (check out my blog on goals here).
Should we always take the advice?
While I was on a roll I tipped my body forward a tad so I could control the pace of my post better. Yes, I went against my trainers paid for advice with leaning forward (slightly). She got her point across. It was time for me to get my point across to myself and Silas that I know how to ride. You know how to do life. You’ve come this far. Time to think like it and act like it. Step into your power.
Silas responded to my changes with a calmer, slower pace. We could finally take a deep breathe.
Most people have the best intentions when giving us advice. However, it’s your life. We don’t have to utilize all the advice people give us. If you’re struggling with it, pray over it. God always gives me a feeling of peace over the right decision. If you feel guilty not using someone’s advice, simply tell them you appreciate their input and you will consider it and pray over it.
This hour long ride was a perfect model for how we often deal with problems in life. In the moment, we get frustrated and develop blurry vision to whats going on around us. Proactive goes out the door. Suddenly we are victims along for a bumpy, uncomfortable ride, muttering cusswords, complaints, I can’ts and it’s not workings. We get so focused on what other people say that we forget to lean into the truths we know.
Instead of looking ahead at where we want to go, we look at the quicksand and obstacles we want to avoid. It’s amazing that when we focus on the quicksand, the problems and fears of life, it so easily sucks us in.
However, when we keep our eyes on what is ahead, the quicksand that was once a source of fear and frustration becomes merely a part of the landscape. It simply took the vision of one fence post at a time, and the decision to ride like I already knew how to do, to smooth things out.
Small goals and deciding, instead of asking, where and how fast you are going can change your world.
Those simple principles took my ride from a miserable and frustrating event to one Silas and I could both be content with. Where are you on the ride of life? Bumping along with blurred vision? Frustrated or feeling out of control on what is ahead?
Who’s at fault here?
Another final point. All of the problems with my ride seemed like Silas’s fault at first. He was going too fast, and he was dragging us to the quicksand. Funny how once I had a clear vision, and shared it with him clearly, our problems seemed to fade away. The fault was mine all along.
Unfortunately we can’t take covid (and all the mess that has come with it), away. We can, however, focus on our own path, goals, and decisions and make something positive from a tough situation.
Where there is no vision, the people perish Proverbs 29:18
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
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