Grounded

its time for a long overdue post.  Life has changed a lot since I last posted!  The main thing to note is we are now expectig baby 2 in April!  Let me tell you- to non horse people this may seem a bit vain.  To horse people, I’m pretty sure we’re nearly all on the same boat.  The hardest part about deciding to get pregnant again, was looking at how it would effect my riding.  First of all, pregnncy and riding don’t always go hnd in hand (although we continue to do it as long as possible).  Second, the baby comes and you’re left with a minimum 6 weeks before you are supposd to be back in the saddle.  With JJ it was 6 months due to complications.  AWFUL!!  And last – well – there’s another baby!!!  It’s logistially challenging already to ride and compete with one kid.  Add another and it sounds nearly impossible if you don’t have grandparents around or unlimitted resources.  
I knew in my heart JJ needed a sibbling, so I bit the bullet and decided not to let my selfish desires get in the way.  I had several friends who told me with their second pregnancy they grounded themselves pretty quickly due to discomfort.  I was surprised to find myself at 20+ weeks not only riding, but riding well.  My rides were short and to the point, but thanks to a great clinician I rode with I had something to focus on and I was making it happen.  The rides weren’t just dink a long enjoy time at the barn rides, but physically strenuous for me and my horse where we were both progressing.  This was exhilarating for a pregnant girl!  I finally made it to my 20 week ultrasound at about 22 weeks.  The exciting thing = the baby is healthy!  When I say healthy I mean we grow em good, 75th percentile, the tech kept asking me how big JJ was and when my due date is kiNd of healthy. And what did I eat because the baby was moving nonstop kind of healthy!  But then the doctor wanted to see me.  Hm… yeah.  Not the greatest news.  I have placenta previa and while in the grand scheme of things it could be way worse, he looked me in the eye and said, “absolutely no riding, no strenuous exercise, no lifting anything heavy (including my son) and no sex or anything else in that area.  When I laughed (mostly in desperation) he very boldly let me know if I did not listen to him chances were very good I could wake up in the middle of the night covered in blood.  
And just like that, I was grounded.  No last chance ride.  Not even a halfhearted walk trail.  Grounded.  It felt like terrible news.  I was on the verge of tears all day, constantly reminding myself and thanking God that the baby was healthy.  I broke one of my cardinal rules and googled placenta previa (in my belief, that’s one of the WORST things you can do for any medical problem if you want to sleep at night and not completely destroy your nerves).  Honestly, google wasn’t so scary.  Pretty much worst case scenario is premature birth via c section with blood on hand in case I hemorrhage.  It’s not pretty, but boy it could be so much worse.  But it also looked like the doctor was right.  Most web pages even recommended bed rest.  *sigh*  
Bed rest for a girl like me is pretty terrifying.  
Alas, I’m being a good girl and obeying doctors orders.  I’ve visited Silas twice since the diagnosis.  He must have heard I couldn’t ride (horses are much smarter than people think and I know they talk about things), because for the first time in our 4+ years together he galloped towards me when he saw me in the field!  I spent a solid 15 minutes grooming crusty mud off him- something that NEVER happens because my time at the barn is limited and I choose between ride time or groom time when JJ is running around.  Then we did some ground work, and I taught SIlas Parelli’s 7 games that I learned in high school.  At one point he even put his nose to the ground and licked his lips – a sign of submission that I don’t think he has EVER done with me!  I’m not going to tell you I don’t miss riding.  But maybe being grounded won’t be as bad as I thoughtt.    IN fact, maybe it will be really good.